It’s the last day of January and I haven’t put down my resolutions for the New Year yet! On the one hand, this is great because I got a whole extra 30 days to think about what I wanted to do this year, but on the other, I only have 11/12th’s of the year to accomplish the things I want to do. It’s a good thing I’m motivated by deadlines.
- I promise to refinish my desk a nice walnut stain and find a better monitor stand than a Katherine Hepburn biography stacked underneath a copy of The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry.
- I promise not to stare at my dead actress poetry monitor stand and resent it for not letting me browse its pages.
- I promise to go to the gym five times a week but still feel comfortable making fun of people who go to the gym all the time.
- I promise not to blame the little baby projects that come up in my head all the time for distracting me from the unruly and less pleasant teenage projects that I need to be working on. Instead, I’ll just write down notes for them and come back when they’re older and more likely to yell, “You don’t understand me!” in a squeaky voice.
- I promise to go to Utah this year and have breakfast at “The Merry Wives” diner.
- I promise not only to return all emails, but to return them within 24 hours of receiving them.
- I promise to translate my enthusiasms for politics into practical service to my community.
- I promise to eat only at new (to me) restaurants.
- I promise to make brunch.
- I promise not to crib from ZeFrank’s resolutions format next year.
- I promise to not go out and try to beat someone at their own game just because I know I can.
- I promise to pick up the phone when people call, even though I loathe phone calls so very very much.
- I promise to finish my novel about how much I hate Perez Hilton.
- I promise to pick up my art installation at the WOW Gallery that’s been there since last year.
- I promise either to save up enough money for the awesome Bruce Naumann print I’m in love with or make my own.
- I promise to wake-up early on the weekdays.
- I promise to cut myself some slack and realize that you can’t write four scripts, go to the gym, do laundry and meet friends for dinner all in one day.
- I promise not to take the comments I get on my blog personally or if they’re anonymous, assume they were written by an irate Perez Hilton.
- I promise not to start reading an article on the Internet by clicking on all the hyperlinks, looking up the relevant Wikipedia entries and reading all of those things (and also the links that interest me ad naseum) and then after having 23 tabs open, slowly making my way back to the original article, filled with the knowledge that I know all this stuff already.
- I promise to write at least two sentences a day that I’m not getting paid to write or come in the form of an email, chat or Google query.
- I promise to launch a website that will make L.A. more fun.
- I promise to create something for the smart gay kids.
- I promise to not get so bent out of shape when people dumber than me act like I think I’m smarter than them.
- I promise to spend more time making Kevin’s cats race around for the laser pointer.
- I promise not to sing out loud songs I’m listening to on my iPod when there are people around.
- I promise to start a business that will be an umbrella for small projects that entertain and inform.
- I promise never to mention my 28th birthday again.
- I promise to switch it to beer after the second g&t, since it’s easier to convince semi-drunk me that he’s consuming empty calories when they’re malty.
- I promise to admit to myself that my blog is more for my own amusement than anyone else’s.
- I promise to do some sort of theater thing.
- I promise to write three screenplays by June 1.
- I promise not to constantly try to imagine myself as a dark and tortured soul living on the fringes of society.
- I promise to make my ideas and thoughts concrete so that they aren’t abstract notions of potential, but real tangible work that I can observe, understand, edit and refine into something that I can show to the world, allowing me to go back out and find the new, the dangerous and the unknown.
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